A Mohawk.....REALLY?

With teenagers, I have learned, you need to choose your battles....do I hear an amen? When Erik and I first talked about having children we boldly declared that no child of OURS would have a piercing, dress weird or have an (what we deemed) inappropriate haircut. We simply wouldn't allow it.

Well with raising a teenager there are much bigger issues to face. A few "challenges" we have had to deal with include lying, having girlfriends in the house alone, skipping school, and having a planned fight appear on YouTube. Oh yeah, and the first day my oldest got his driver's license, he drove to St. Petersburg, an hour away via Interstate 75, to purchase an Xbox from a guy he met on the Internet (still can't get over that one). Thank goodness nothing bad happened. These are all things I never planned to deal with because, well remember? MY teenagers would be perfectly well behaved......they were related to me after all. To steal a phrase from Virgina Slims, "I have come a long way baby". All of the above issues and incidents involved a lot of yelling, arguing, punishment enforcement, and tears (from me).

Last year my middle child came to us wanting to get his ears pierced. I said "no way", but I would let his dad decide. Well, Erik assumed he meant one ear. IN OUR DAY, two ear piercings were unheard of at least in the conservative suburbs of Washington, D.C....... 

Erik caved. He agreed to one piercing while our son believed he was agreeing to two. When the discrepancy was discovered the poop hit the fan (to put it nicely). Arguing, yelling, and angst followed. Both sides polled facebook friends to see what their opinion was. Surprisingly(LOL) most of the over 40 crowd was "against" and the younger generation was "for". Since it was eventually established that two piercings were not going to happen, our son agreed to one. It's a proud moment when a father takes his 15 year old to the mall to get his ear pierced. Even prouder when you run into people you know from church. As Erik saw the church ladies approaching, he strategically started walking diagonally away from the earring piercing counter (close call).

This event took place last year and I am getting over it. I fine with it (I think). Well, lets just say I don't want to argue about it anymore. Our church picture appointment with Olan Mills is tomorrow. Yesterday, my son asked if he could get a haircut (wow, I thought, he really cared about looking nice for this church picture). He then tells me of his plans for a Mohawk. Really........really? Luckily, without much yelling or family turmoil, he agreed to wait until AFTER our picture is taken. I am not excited about the idea, but feel blessed he was willing to wait without much hassle. This is a battle I choose not to fight.

My Teenager would never lie because I am a very honest person, his dad and I are great role models and we go to church every Sunday........and other delusions

So I have this son who is a really great kid, really he is. He has always gotten great grades, stayed out of trouble, nice friends, etc. He would NEVER lie because, well we have such a great relationship.

One weekend he told me he was spending the night with a friend from church. Okey dokey, no red flags there. Kid from church - check. Know the parents - check. A few weeks later I see friend from church's mom at my weekly Bible study. I say to her, "thanks for having my son over for the weekend a few weeks ago." This comment was met with a blank stare. "uhh, hmmm, when?" she said. "you know that weekend a few weeks ago" I replied. "uhh that must have been the weekend I was away". RED FLAG - RED FLAG.

Luckily this child of mine typically caves when confronted. When I asked him what friend from church's mom made for breakfast for them, he just said, "oh, we got our own breakfast". Hmmmm. "Well, I saw her at my Bible study and she says she doesn't remember you being there." He then has the deer in headlights look on his face....he caves.

Turns out he spent the weekend in a fraternity house at the University of Central Florida. This is while he was still in high school. His dad and I would have actually let him go,  but I guess he didn't want to take the chance of asking. Point being - TEENAGERs LIE like dogs. There must be something in their brains that just flips into gear when they have a plan that mom and dad might not approve of. Gotta love them, but don't trust them - LOL!

This isn't what I signed up for!

I have to admit my main goal in life has always been to have children. As a child I really didn't even care if I ever had a husband or not, I just knew I wanted kids. Back then my understanding was that you needed an actual husband to have babies, so out of necessity I wanted that too. Looking back, that was a good thing.

My plan was to meet my future husband in college, get married shortly after college, and then have adorable, well behaved, easy to take care of babies. Okay, so I found my man, had the babies. Of course I would have no behavior issues with my kids because they would be related to me for heaven's sake!

My first child cried for an entire year, and my second was extremely strong willed and stubborn. I figured that motherhood must be the most difficult thing in the world, and questioned why I ever thought I could handle such a thing. Other "older" moms with teens would tell me, "you think this is hard, wait until they are teenagers". "HA", I thought. Surely they don't understand or remember how hard it is to be a mother of small children. MY future teenagers will be perfectly behaved, adore me, and never EVER lie or misbehave.

Looks like they got the last laugh. Being a parent of a teen is the hardest thing I have ever done and it is my goal to use this blog as a way to share and connect with other parents of teens. Along with struggling to parent a teen, there is also a lot of laughter along the way. And it's better to laugh, than cry!