My father told me this would happen. I was in denial. After all I am forty cough, cough, years old and it hadn’t happened yet. Well, yesterday was the day. I can no longer see close up.
I have joined the club. I am one of “them”. You know, the people you see looking at restaurant tabs by moving the receipt farther, then closer. The people who have gasp, “reading glasses” and look down through their glasses to see, then look at you over their glasses. The people whose chins keep moving up and down to focus on whatever they happen to be looking at. What’s next? A fake gold chain around my neck with reading glasses dangling at the end?
Sure, I know others in this club. My Mom says she can’t put make up on without her glasses. How does that even work? I don’t think I can do that. I am not coordinated enough. Thank goodness I don’t wear a lot of make up. I could end up looking like a clown with lipstick on my cheeks.
My husband has already joined the club, so when we go out to dinner, I am the one who has to read the bill and add the tip. What is going to happen now? We had a system. In order to avoid looking like a grandma and pulling out the reading glasses, waitresses all over the Brandon area are going to have random tips because I can’t really see how much our meal cost. They always say that old people are poor tippers…….maybe they just have no clue how much the bill is.
There is an upside to this. I do like feeling part of a group. I am now in the over forty far-sighted group. It is certainly a conversation starter and people like to share their stories. It does seem as though people just wake up one day and seeing close up is gone. Our stories of woe bond us. My dear friend’s husband is one of us. My friend says he drives her crazy because he holds small print up really close to his right eye to see. She says he looks ridiculous. Now that is good stuff – you have to be able to laugh at it all.
So as I enter this new era, I am going to have a positive “outlook” (pardon the pun). I am now part of a proud and strong group of people who have over come life’s little limitations. I will proudly look over my glasses to talk to people, I will leave random tips (at the risk of being called cheap), I may even look into a gold-look reading glasses chain necklace to proudly wear around my neck declaring to the world, “I can’t see, and I don’t care who knows it”.
